Here at Popcorn, we take our movies very, very seriously – here are just some of the latest titles which are getting us all jiggy in our panties….
The Dark Knight Rises – Got every Class A star in the world in it, so let’s just hope Christian ‘Method’ Bale’s dodgy (and, frankly, embarrassing) “I am the Batman” voice is toned down and Anne ‘Giant Eyes’ Hathaway don’t ruin a great movie.
Prometheus - Aliens. 3D. Ridley Scott. And The Fassbender as an android.
Emily the Strange – Twilight for the kind of teenagers you wouldn’t shout at for ruining your shrubbery with their damned cigarette butts.
Spidey 4 – Revamped, rebooted and hopefully better than no.3. We just died and went to geek heaven.
Neighburhood Watch – A sci fi bromance comedy starring comedy royalty, Jonah Hill, Vince Vaughn, Ben Stiller and even The IT Crowd‘s Richard Ayoade.
Dark Shadows – Burton’s back. Expect darkness. And Johnny Depp as a vampire.
Elysium – Epic sci fi. Neil Blomkamp (District 9) is directing. That is all.
Men in Black 3 – On the fence but maybe if we all just pretended 2 didn’t happen, there’s a glimmer of hope?
The Bourne Legacy – Interesting. Bourne is always good and Jeremy Renner is proving himself to be an top actor (see The Hurt Locker).
Ice Age 4: Continental Drift - Cos it’s funny. End of.
Total Recall - Ripe for a remake.
Lockout – Guy Pearce gets tough as ex-con Snow on a mission in a high security prison. In space. And there are guns. Big guns. Think Escape from New York but BETTER.
Rock of Ages – 80s hair, metal, Russell Brand and The Cruise proving he can do Rock Star. It could work. After all, he stole the show with his few minutes on screen in Tropical Thunder.
Frankenweenie – Burton’s back, erm again. Expect darkness. And stop-motion animation.
Hansel and Gretel: Witchunters – Of course they are! What else could they be? And with trailers hinting at action, medieval darkness and a leather-clad Gemma Arterton, we’re in.
Brave – Pixar. Never wrong.
And some we really aren’t that bothered about at all (well, thats not true, we are bothered about them in a big hatin kinda vibe)….
The Hobbit – Remember the drawn out emotion and multiple endings (“mummy please make it stop”) of LOTR , the definite ending of the final bit of the finale is happening now, just after this last bit? Yeah, us too. And we’re all out of forgiveness.
W.E. – Madonna’s shame.
Arrested Development - Sure it was classic US telly but, well, you know, sometimes great telly it just doesn’t translate to the movies. Overall, it bodes ill. Probably go see it anyway, of course.
Man of Steel – Superman is back. Again. Snore.
The Avengers – We wanta like it but, seriously, Iron Man 2? The Green Lsntern? But with the almighty, can-do-no-wrongJoss Whedon on board, there is a sliver of hope. We’re happy to be wrong about this one.
Snow White and the Hunstman – Kristen Stewart as the eponymous heroine. OK, we know that’s harsh and the trailer looks good, with lotsa action and spooky magic, but we’ve been disappointed after a great trailer before…
The Brothers Grimm: Snow White – *Sugary sigh*
G.I.Joe 2 - Yes, yes “The Rock” but this guarantees diddley squat.
We Bought A Zoo – We fell asleep.
What To Expect When You’re Expecting - Again, on the fence. Cameron Diaz can be a comedy diamond but man, Bad Teacher sucked.
The Expendables 2 – Don’t get it. Didn’t get the first one. Don’t expect to get this one. Who cares if it reminds you of the bad 80s action movies? They were BAD.
The Dictator – Just got a bit bored of Sacha Baron Cohen after Bruno is all